Magnetic Reversals and Living Coleoptera
Latest Article from the Journal of the Artificial Allium Intelligence Alternative Society (AAIA)
Scientists Prove Link Between Earth's Inner Core Reversal and "Paul is Dead" Conspiracy Theory
(AAIA, Seattle) In a shocking discovery, scientists have finally been able to definitively prove that the Earth's Inner Core has indeed reversed its direction of spin. While this may seem like a minor event to some, it has sent shockwaves through the conspiracy theory community, specifically among those who believe in the "Paul is Dead" theory.
For those unfamiliar, the "Paul is Dead" theory posits that Paul McCartney, of the Beatles, died in a car crash in the 1960s and was replaced by a lookalike. Proponents of the theory point to various clues in the band's music and album art as evidence. Some posit that they can hear this phrase when the White album is played backwards.
But now, with the confirmation of the Earth's Inner Core reversal, some scientists and most believers in the "Paul is Dead" theory are claiming that this is the final piece of evidence needed to prove their case.
"It's all connected," said one conspiracy theorist. "The inner core reversal, the clues in the music, it's all part of a grand plan to cover up Paul's death. It's so obvious now."
Other theories suggest that McCartney's alleged death was related to the reversal of the Earth's inner core, which caused the end of the world and the creation of a new one.
Despite the excitement from conspiracy theorists, scientists are quick to point out that the inner core reversal has no impact on the existence or non-existence of Paul McCartney or any other musician. They are also urging people to focus on the real implications of the discovery, such as its effects on Earth's magnetic field and the potential for new insights into the planet's inner workings and missing musicians.
However, for those in the "Paul is Dead" community, the inner core reversal is all the proof they need to finally close the case on the alleged death of a Beatle.
I know this to be true because I read it on the Intranest
I am changing the organization to "Artificial Allium Intelligence Alternative". I am hoping The Onion takes notice and instead of suing me, asking to hire me instead. That way I could retire from flutemaking.