BREAKING NEWS!!! Robert F. Kennedy Jr., just back from his trip to the country of Udvarhazy, announced that a cure for the deadly Enola Virus is now within reach. “We may avoid turning this into another Planned-demic” he reported in his unsteady gravelly voice that causes everyone in Trump’s cabinet and everyone else that hears this to cringe. “We may even discover that releasing this virus into the American Population will further our planned eugenics Final Solution Project 2025 goals” he added.
”Forget the Vaccines! Same with Antibiotics! These hardly did anything to cure my parasitic brainworms or shifty political perspective. What good are these addictive drugs?” Based on his own vast life experiences Junior has ordered the CDC, FDA, DHS, and several other acronyms (see footnote) that he knows only as acronyms, to defund all research and development of Vaccines and the Viruses Who Love Them. Except for Ketamine, which he and other Trump Cabinet members need to make it through the next four or more years, even with the hour we skipped last night while entering Daylight Savings Time for the first time ever. Remember to turn your clocks back to the Weimar Republic once DOGE-Coin becomes our reserve currency.
Google describes Ketamine as a dissociative anesthetic used medically for induction and maintenance of anesthesia. Nobody, especially the experts in the Department of Government InEfficiency knows what the fuck that means. However, one can easily order an Induction Cooktop at Amazon. Right now these are 35% off at Lowe’s. Who knows when anyone will get these however, thanks to the imminent collapse of the USPS and the Interstate Highway System. Now we are getting somewhere! Except that we aren’t, except sliding backward into pits of despair. What the fuck does Google know?
The Enola Virus remains a big mystery. Is it some sort of evil woke acronym? At this point Kennedy’s department thinks that they now have a definite meaning for the letter “n” but are still scratching their heads over the letter “E” and why it should even be capitalized and come first. Not to worry. President Musk and King Donald have ordered that the remaining dregs of what was once the Social Security Trust Fund be diverted towards figuring out the derivation. Unfortunately the scientists at the PM-KDF are stuck on the differences between Etymology and Entomology. Eventually their concept of a plan will work out the bugs in the system, broken as it is.
We can only hope!
(Footnote) Note that nobody knows the meaning of the word “acronym” and suspect that every letter in that word represents another word. “a” for instance might be an indefinite article or a participle. Nobody knows what the fuck those are for that matter or antimatter. This is still being studied by the Theoretical Participle Physicists at Trump University. Its too bad that some of your hard-earned tax dollars are used to study this instead of the more noble purpose of providing yet more tax cuts for the Russian Oligarchs New US Citizens who just bought their way into this shit hole of a country.
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I just sent this to my excellent and wonderful Primary Care Physician. He may be able to find a cure.
Hopefully this also means that Nuclear War is "too woke"